Holding Hands

Reminder to self! i once wrote this!

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To the hand I am meant to hold…To the one I have waited for so long…To the one who’s worth the heartaches, disappointment, and the agony of waiting. Only two words…Thank you.

You see I am writing this on credit, yes long before you really hold my hand i have already thanked God for He let you find me. That He allowed my heart to not grow weary and continue to trust Him that He is writing our love story.

Before i thought I have to find you on my own, only to end up getting hurt and disappointed. I then tried to look for answers and do the extra mile of knowing what I can do on my part. Yes, i need to wait but what do i do while waiting for you? What if you don’t come? God smiled at me and said, “my precious one, he is…

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NBSB

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NBSB. Most people will define it as “No Boyfriend since Birth”. But a dear sister from the Feast defines it as “NBSB: No Boyfriend, Still Blessed”. Honestly, when I heard this in our Connect Group (CG) sharing, I told myself, “Wait. Yeah, I don’t have a boyfriend but I am still happy and I enjoy God’s blessings.”

Being single at 38 is no joke. True, especially when you are being surrounded by friends and family who are way younger than you are sending you invitations for wedding, and sometimes baptisms; when you are the topic of everyone in your circle that are so desperately looking for the right guy for you; when you see a lot of good men, and most of them are either married, engaged or they simply wanted to be just your friend.

After hearing the talk on the series “His and Hers” about Body, I learned that as a woman, you only get what you believe you deserve. I met quite a few men in my class who thinks of me as a friendly and fun loving person. I was able to make friends as early as my orientation day. Somehow, I was able to make them see that I came to Perth to make my dreams happen and have a new chance at life; not to chase men around and marry them to make an easy way of staying here for good which most Filipina women do here.

I love the topic of “His and Hers” that talks about being single and happy. I claim in faith that I am single for now and while I am waiting for Mr. Right, I wanted to be Ms. Right. A friend of mine sent me an eBook called, “Why Men Loved Bitches”. At first, I was hesitant to read it but my friend urged me to. Then, I realized that what the Feast is talking about in this series is what Sheryl Argov was saying in her book. One of the best lessons I learned in her book is to be clear of what I want and I should be consistent about it. I must believe that I am good enough to be pursued and I shouldn’t chase a man just to be happy. I should raise my flag up high and tell the world who I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Believe me friends, it’s never easy and it feels lonely and painful at times, especially when people tell you not to be choosy because you are not that young and that you may not find the right guy. But I’m holding to one non-negotiable trait I wanted to share with all of you as I continue to circle my prayer of finding Mr. Right whom God will choose for me (I even have a special prayer to St. Raphael I pray everyday). I asked God to give me a man who shares the same faith as mine: one who loves God and His family more than anything else.

And as I take a step closer to all my dreams here in Perth, I don’t leave my personal prayer behind. I make friends and I smile a lot. I try my best to be firm with what I want as I continue to circle my dreams in faith.

So I speak to all my fellow singles for NOW. Be happy. Be excited. Because God knows what we deserve—and that is nothing but the best. Continue reading NBSB

Claiming the Power to Be

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“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.” – Erma Bombeck

I am reading a book called “What’s Your Life’s Masterpiece” by Marian Mencias and one thing that attracted me to buy the book is the thought of learning from people who made their own life a masterpiece! Imagine Bo Sanchez: not only is he a dynamic preacher and founder of the Light of Jesus Family, but he is also a best-selling author. I am forever a fan and one thing that had made me stay with the Feast is because I get to hear talks from preachers who learned from him.

In our second talk, Toxic Thinking, one powerful message I got is this: “Your imagination is the remote control of your emotions”. One of the things I have been imagining lately is how will I be able to go back doing what I loved to do in the past. I have served another charismatic community for 15 years but had to leave one day because I was too broken to even share anything. I was too caught up with my own wounds and despair over failed relationships, wrong decisions, and piled up guilt feelings.

Back then, I love serving God by being one of those leaders who give talks for our Christian Life Program, chapter assemblies, and singles’ retreats. But they say you can’t give what you don’t have. And when my negative self-talk had consumed me, I had no choice but to step back and say “no” to one invitation after another; simply because I know I had to fix myself and be healed completely before I stand in front of people again to speak and share about God’s goodness and love.

Just like what Bro. J shared on how we deal with negative situations in our lives, we need to step back from the situation and change the scene. It took me some time before I was able to let go of all the excess baggage I have inside of me: those negative self-talks that had crushed my self-worth and buried my dreams. But it was worth the wait and it was indeed a blissful feeling to be in control of your emotions and be brave enough to choose to love amidst struggles and challenges in our lives. Being in a community doesn’t exempt you from getting hurt or from failing even your own expectations. Experiencing healing doesn’t shield you from the pains and negative feelings. But just like what we have learned from the other talk, you can feel the negative feelings but know that it has an expiry date.

Am I experiencing disappointments and do I still feel discouraged at times? My answer is definitely “yes”, but I can proudly say things are a lot different now because I have learned the power of positive thinking and making that shift every time. And more important than changing the situation is changing your imagination. Since you have no control over other people’s reactions, you need to shift and remember that you are far bigger than the negative feedback you heard or the rejection you received from someone. It’s all about changing your mindset and sticking to it no matter how impossible the situation is.

Our feelings are a product of our emotions, and Bro. J said that if we repeat the thought long enough it becomes an emotion. We need to change what we are imagining and it will change our emotions.

One of the best thing that happened to me after experiencing healing through the Neuro-linguistic Programming was that part of my one-on-one session where I imagined my future self getting married and living a happy and contented life with my own family. I saw healed relationships and the dream of giving only the best of myself to the world. Yes, I don’t know how and when but I know God will use me to share His love through speaking to people and inspiring them with how I was able to rise up after failing life. I know it will happen and I am actually taking one tiny step; soon, I will be giving a dance workshop to the dance ministers of Feast Baliwag.

I am both excited and nervous at the same time because it has been 5 years since I have given any talks or much so, a workshop. I love to dance and worship God but to empower other dance ministers, this is me going out of my comfort zone. This is me imagining God’s Glory being revealed through myself. And because I have been declaring it every time I attend the Feast, I will change my mindset of myself and what I can give. I am God’s dancer and I am His powerful champion! And with that I will go out there, take that leap of faith, and give my best. Because I know God created me for greatness even though I live an imperfect life.

Imagine yourself being drenched in God’s blessings and miracles tonight and then be ready to receive it. Have an amazing experience at the Feast!

Day 3 – The Single Woman 30 day blog challenge – Describe a day when being single was really awesome!

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It’s those days when you feel you have all the freedom in the world when it comes to decision making. What to do on a weekend, what kind of clothes to wear,what time in the day you feel you want to just spend some time alone and what to do on that time of solitude.

It’s when you don’t have to consult anyone regarding change of plans in your carerr, whether you go leave your job here and find some opportunities abroad or if you want to try out an extreme sport or an exotic food. It is those times when you have the last say in choosing the kind of movie you want to watch or if you wanna shout on top of your lungs because you just said an epic fail comment to your biggest crush.

Being single is awesome because you have more time to reflect on the kind of relationship you have with God, your family, your friends, colleagues or any stranger you meet across the street. You have all the time in the world to try all sorts of new things even those that needed a leap of faith. When you’re single, you have the luxury of going out with anyone who shows interests and you also feel some connections with. This will allow you to be more decided on the qualities you want to find in your future husband. When you’re single, you also have all the time to dig into reading inspirational books, listening to inspiring talks and podcasts or yes, even to listening to one single person to another and learning from their experiences.

Being single is not a curse but a beautiful choice to allow God to show you more and to amaze you with a beautiful future He has prepared especially for you. Yes it may be tiring or depressing at times, but making the shift and turning to God will make the journey of waiting easier and exciting.

You have the power to make it exciting, amazing, surprising and kilig filled dear single woman! Claim that power now! And be the most amazing single woman of God who’s ready to bless the world!

Day 2 The Single Woman 30 Day Blog Challenge

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One of the days I felt that being single really sucked is when I can’t have someone to share the frustrations a bad day brings. Back then, I always ask myself what’s wrong and what I have done for me to end up facing most of the problems I had alone. I drowned in self pity and my self worth was crushed even more.

I cry most of the time praying that God take away that feeling and make me wake up one day that I am like the other girls around. But God has done far better than what i have been praying for. Instead of a man who will sweep me off my feet and hold my hands, He sends people who journeyed with me until I finally see what I do need in my single life at the moment.

I happen to meet an extraordinary guy who inspired me the very moment I saw and hear him speak. His gifts has drawn me to listen more, and later on rekindle my loving and personal relationship with God.

My highschoolish crushing lead me to meet wonderful friends and co servants, it lead me attending retreats and talks that changed my life even more. It pushed me to discover talents I never thought I had in me. Who would have thought i can act in front of 3 thousand plus people who came to be blessed By God. And I received a pretty good number of compliments from people, some of them I barely know. But the best part of it is that I myself was blessed in that experience.

But one of most unexplainable blessings happen one fateful night of a retreat to culminate a leaders teaching called Foundations Course. I came to that retreat feeling all stressed up with so many issues at work and in ministry. I made a decision that weekend that I will make the most out of that experience. After my confession, the priest told me that i pray that God allow me to recall what the underlying emotion is behind all the stress I am having the past weeks. He told me I needed to do something that night which I may have forgotten to do for the longest time.

As I was praying, God revealed to me that He wanted me to let go of the hatred I have with myself that I have kept secret and began to deny to make me believe I have moved on from the pains of my past. As I was looking at a dark cloud slowly moving away, God whispered to my heart that I need to surrender everything to Him because He came to take away all the hurts that is blocking all His graces, miracles and healing that He has been giving me all these years.

I was ashamed and I cried telling God how i longed for that healing He has been promising me and i said sorry because that day I realized that I was the one who chose not to receive them.

But my favorite message came a little later during my reflection time. As I pray and recall incidents in my past, my favorite image suddenly came forward and I began asking God why? Why is he suddenly coming into the picture? Every single encounter, every single meeting and yes, even the weird and crazy kilig moments that only me perhaps remembers.

God again whispered a special message to me, He told me that He orchestrated the time when I started to crush on that special guy. He allowed me to get attracted and drawn to this guy for me to see later on what God really wanted for me.That He wanted me to see my real worth, to appreciate my own beauty, to find joy in waiting and to trust and hope that true love is real. It may take awhile and he may come a little late, but truth is I already have the best lover and fan in God that no guy can ever come close to. God can romance me everyday if I only ask Him and open my eyes and my heart to the wonders of His blessings hidden in the most ordinary things in life.

Yes. I have felt that being single sucks, but God has always been with me in my journey even in all the disappointments I have been through. So even if it sucks, God made me see the blessings behind it. I am single and I AM happy!

The Single Woman’s 30 day blog challenge

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And why are you still single? This is probably my not so favorite question and i will treat you anything you want if you will just stop asking me that. Haha. Kidding.

Honestly? I do hate this question and the follow up side comments from relatives and friends. “It’s hard to grow old alone! Or You might have a hard time having a baby or you won’t be able to really enjoy being a wife and a mother”. And the list are endless.

And it really is hard to answer politely and positively when you do not have an answer yourself. Why? Is there something wrong with me? Am I not good enough!? Am i not really destined to be with someone?

But God really has a wisdom no man can fathom or understand. He allows even the most painful act of waiting to happen to us because He wants to prepare our hearts and He wants to mold our character and be a blessing instead of a curse to our partner.

I remember what Steven Furtick, (Pastor of Elevation Church in the US) shared on Valentine’s day:

Happiness is not finding the right person. It’s being the right person. When i read this i began to think. How can i really be the right person and answered prayer to someone. Am I loving enough and do I value myself and my relationships that I am now ready to share the journey with someone who also journeys in his relationship with God. Am i ready to commit to the woman God created me to be.

Another reflection is this: If two half people get together and they’re not complete in Christ, they don’t make a whole person. So forget the line, “you complete me” not unless you are saying that to God. Because it is only Him, who can heal and complete us.

Last point i got from Pastor Steven is this:

A lot of single people make lists of what they want in the person they’re looking for. That’s fine. Just make sure that if the person you’re looking for had the same list, they’d find you.

You may be waiting in this season of your life for God to bring the right person.
Or you may be wondering if the person you’re dating is the right person.

He will do it.
He will reveal it.

In the meantime, be what you’re looking for.

Whoa! Be what you are looking for. Not really easy but it is an amazing gift to give to your one true love.

So why am I still single? Because i am brave enough to wait on God and allow Him to prepare the best man for me. God is calling me to seek Him first and be completely healed in Him so i can focus on loving the people around me.

Being single is not a dead end and a curse. It is a blessing and an empowerment. Empowerment to step up and do more for the lord.

So now, i am enjoying my single hood and my season of waiting . Because i was born to enjoy the greatest blessings God has carefully planned for me.

The Best is Yet to come!

Increase the Love in You! By Apple Valencia

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It’s the love month and people are really cheesy these days. So if you are single like me, it’s easier to have amnesia on the 14th day of this month. As chocolates and flowers and stuff toys flood almost every corner of your eye, it’s hard to survive that day without being bitter or sad because you don’t have someone special to celebrate the day with. But Pastor Steven Furtick, Lead Pastor of Elevation Church in the US said this to single people on Valentine’s Day: “Happiness is not finding the right person. It’s being the right person. Stop looking for the person of your dreams and start becoming someone another person is dreaming about. Make someone else’s dreams become a reality.”

God is truly sweet, isn’t He? He wanted me to be the best person that He created me to be before He gives me the partner that He has been preparing, the same way He is preparing me. And much to my surprise, God also speaks the same thing in our newest series, “Increase”. As we talked about the 4 laws of wealth, God spoke through the first talk that my self-worth will determine my net worth. Amazing! I didn’t realize that my wealth is affected by how I love and accept myself!

And as Bro. J pointed out, there is no problem with the provider who is God, but with me the receiver. Most of the time, I lack blessings simply because I tend to limit myself with the negative self-talk of not deserving the best blessings God has prepared for me. God’s capacity to give is bigger than my capacity to receive!

Mark Victor Hansen said, “When your self-worth goes up, your net worth goes up with it”. As Bro. J also shared, there are 3 aspects in our self-worth: self ideal or our dream self; self-image or our present self and our self-esteem or how much we like our self. If we hate ourselves, we tend to criticize other people, complain on the kind of life we live and compare ourselves to other people then losing our chance to appreciate what we already have. We need to maintain a high self-ideal and high self-image in order for us to constantly succeed in life. It is when we love and accept ourselves that we will be clear of what we want to become; that is, to be happy and wealthy at the same time.

Our self-worth trumps our net worth because we are more than our ability, our position, or even our social status. We need to celebrate what we have now so we can have a bigger heart to receive more in the future. Let’s be excited because greater things await us.

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