To My Valentine

 

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The word “Valentine” has two meanings. It can imply a card sent or given to a sweetheart) on Saint Valentine’s Day. It can also indicate any particular person, especially a sweetheart, chosen to receive a greeting on Saint Valentine’s Day.

That’s the meaning google gave me. But what’s Valentine for me? Aside from me not having a dinner date or not having flowers like most women like me is anxiously waiting for at this time of the year.

Honestly, before I used to really believe that Valentines day is only for lovers like married couples, those with boyfriends or girlfriends and not so much for single (figuratively and literally speaking haha!) people like me.

But is it really? I’d like to think it’s not, well not because I am trying to make myself feel good but if this day is supposed to be expressed and celebrated because of love then it can be for everyone right? Because all of us are gifted with the ability to share and receive love.

Quoting our worship leader earlier; she said this “Love isn’t love till you give it away”. So if you have chosen to love then you can choose to give the same love to every person you meet every single day. Then there’s no reason for single people like me to feel miserable or bitter because we always have the option to choose to feel the love with or without a romantic partner.

I remembered the sharing of one of the prettiest face and the nicest smile I saw at the feast. She shared how God has embraced her and made her realize how beautiful she is inside and out. Her journey made a major impact in me simply because I can relate to what she has to battle with to finally see her self worth in the eyes of God. That hit me. And made me realize that it’s only me who thinks I’m not worth all the efforts and that maybe I deserve to be single. After hearing that I finally saw what God has been showing me all this time. That  He has been filling my love tank because of the affirmation people around me are giving. Then I realized. Yes, my love language is that. Words of affirmation and God has been loudly telling me how much He loves me. 

I remember meeting a former officemate on my way to work yesterday and he told me this. “Kumusta ka na? Gumaganda ka yata ah!” And he said it with a big smile on his face. I told myself, wait I didn’t put any make up on? What’s in my face?

Then I went to work that day filled with so much love simply because I realized that it’s the amount of love I receive and shares that cause my face to lighten up and stay beautiful in the eyes of other people. As a matter of fact, I am God’s princess and definitely God’s priceless Valentine.

Yes, you heard it right. I’m God’s favorite date because He eagerly waits for me every single day to just talk to Him and tell Him how did my day go. Just like any romantic partner; God has been courting me all this time. He gives me sweet surprises which you won’t even think of. As simple as the beautiful smile of my crush, the loving hug and care of my CBCG or even the high energy of my WFA dancemin family.

All these are tokens of God’s love that I now choose to acknowledge and thank Him for. It’s His grace that fills my love tank until it overflows.

I have a choice and I choose to celebrate with my ultimate Valentine. The very source of the love I share.

So to My Valentine; thank you for loving me unconditionally. I choose to go out of my way to love You by loving the life you gave me  and all the people that you blessed me to journey with.

I know that you’ll blessed me with a tangible version of your love really soon. Someone who’s hand I am meant to hold and someone who I can worship and glorify you with. Someone who’ll show me that our love for You will be our greatest gift to each other.

I love you God. Thank you for making my Valentine far more special than what I can think of. Amen.

 

 

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I feel you

GodsHug

It didn’t happen once but my gut feel again was right. I know everything happens for a reason and now I feel this strong desire to pray for this person. Someone who has inspired me a lot lately and someone I know will not really tell me what’s going on inside his heart.

So I chose to say a prayer and just believe that God embraced this person and let him know that God will not abandon Him especially during the time he needed Him most. I know God will give Him the grace to see the purpose behind what is happening in his life.

I am amazed that even if I am also feeling low and I am overwhelmed with what’s happening around me. God manages to nudge me and tell me I am blessed to have experienced pain lately and be encouraged by friends and love ones because He will use me to do the same to someone who needs it.

I feel you and I pray that God’s love continue to speak to you. Just like the line of my favorite love song to God; His love never fails and will never give up on me and in all of us…May you feel His tight hug today.

My weakness is my ticket to God’s grace

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When you know you’re weakness; you are vulnerable to God’s Grace.

I was confident that I will no longer cry or at least not feel guilty for I have been hearing this message for the past week. I was wrong. The moment the worship during ministry time started, I cried like crazy. Mixed emotions. I didn’t know where the tears came from. Why there’s so much fear in my heart that time.

Earlier, one of the speaker said this; “where God guides, He provides”. So there, I figured out one of the reasons why I was scared and crying. I know I just said Yes to a different level of service; and it scares me when it finally sinked in. The ball is now on me and I have to play my best because I know they are counting on me. Just when I am comfortable being assistant, God called me to level up.

Some may say it’s easy as dancing has been my core gift and my passion. But being a ministry head is a whole new story. Just when you have issues with yourself and in all areas of your life. When you are trying to ask God if He wants you to pursue a career outside the country; when you are trying to discern your state of life and what this year will bring to you. God drops the bomb and calls you to lead.

Whoa! Lord you really are a God of surprises. I know I prayed for level up in my service but I didn’t see it coming this early. But just like the phrase I mentioned earlier. I know where You have guided me; You will provide. You will provide the time and the courage to give up something if I needed to. To get out of my comfort zone and make that BIG stretch in me.

Then I remember what my CG Head and friend said once; “I will just go where God summons me”. Short yet powerful statement. And I never forget that statement until now. So Yes Lord I am doing it afraid.

I am afraid because I love you and all those you are putting under my care. I don’t wanna fail in loving them because of my weakness. But this special talk opened my eyes and my heart to the shocking reality.

My weakness will give birth to perfection. Because as I acknowledge my weaknesses; I am making myself vulnerable to your grace O God. Your grace which I don’t even have to ask and I don’t deserve because of my sinfulness. But your love never fails and is never gonna give up on me. So here Lord bless me, use me and my woundedness…may my broken heart and spirit be used to minister and bless others.

Lord make me see my real purpose and to follow your will. Make my heart be bold enough to love amidst all the pain and the uncertainty. May I realize that it’s not about me but about your goodness Oh God.

I surrender to you now whatever fear and doubts I have in myself. Yes I may do it differently but that doesn’t mean I can’t do it for your greater glory.

Just like what a good friend shared through a song:

“Invading all my weakness
You wrapped me up in grace
The worst of me succeeded by the best of You”

Lord I know I’m weak but you continually wrapped me in Your grace and allow me to claim victory for you. I’ll make this my mantra as well..The worst of me succeeded by the best of You. After all, it’s all about You Lord and not me. AMEN.