No more worries

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It’s the eve of my birthday and i feel sick. My throat has been painful since yesterday and my heart aches for some unexplained reasons. I dunno if it comes with my birthday or because i am starting to feel anxious about not having positive updates with my preparations for that big leap next year! 
 
I heard George Gabriel last week and it has been a blessing to hear that if you change your thoughts and your words, you change your life. He encouraged us to say something positive even when you are in a bad situation, because God will eventually make you realize why feeling bad and worrying isn’t a good thing for you.
 
Hearing the Delete series at the feast also had a major impact in me, especially that it lead me to share my personal testimony and boldly declare God’s healing. No turning back, yes in Jesus’ name i will move forward. 
 
Recently i nearly fell into the trap of feeling bad about something i was excited to do which i eventually realized is not gonna happen! A friend asked me if i felt bad and i honestly said yes. But being surrounded by loving people i eventually ended up brushing off that feeling and started to open my heart to new experiences that God may be planning for me. Nothing just happens because God has something better than what i expected. It eventually made sense and i feel better ever since. 
 
Tomorrow is my birthday and i may not have any celebration but i really am claiming for God’s miracles and surprises. I will turn all these not so good feelings into worship as i know God is already in my life and everything will be alright. He is in my tomorrow and i can expect for something great because of His scandalous grace.
 
Thank you God for your love being expressed through the people around me. I claim that i will be blessed and empowered! 

I wish I wish I wish

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It’s been quite awhile that I haven’t written anything on my blog, hmmmmm i thought. Why is day different and why do i feel so inspired to write something. 

Today is the 1st day of my birthday month and it is exactly 13 days before i add another year to my age. I remember a friend feeling anxious about turning 30 and here I am nearly leaving that bracket haha! She also felt anxious about changing her career path or she feels bad not having a clear goal of what to do with her life. Honestly it hit me, and i began asking myself…what do you want Apple? Is it a good thing to leave everything here and try starting a new life in another country? Then all other questions i have been hearing for the longest time became audible again. Do you still have plans of getting married? Do you wanna grow old alone?

And i have to admit, i felt scared. I dunno how to answer these questions or should i say, I don’t have answers to those questions. 

If i were to follow my previous insecure self, i’d say i won’t be feeling good with it. But hey, who has concrete answers to their life questions readily available? 

I guess not all the time. But i know of some people who take on that leap of faith and trust God. And they allow God to surprise them.

And for my birthday this year, i don’t wanna demand, expect, or force on my birthday wish list. I wanna ask God to surprise me with a birthday like no other. A birthday that will make me smile and in awe of His great love.

Surprise me God. That is my only wish.