I wish I wish I wish

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It’s been quite awhile that I haven’t written anything on my blog, hmmmmm i thought. Why is day different and why do i feel so inspired to write something. 

Today is the 1st day of my birthday month and it is exactly 13 days before i add another year to my age. I remember a friend feeling anxious about turning 30 and here I am nearly leaving that bracket haha! She also felt anxious about changing her career path or she feels bad not having a clear goal of what to do with her life. Honestly it hit me, and i began asking myself…what do you want Apple? Is it a good thing to leave everything here and try starting a new life in another country? Then all other questions i have been hearing for the longest time became audible again. Do you still have plans of getting married? Do you wanna grow old alone?

And i have to admit, i felt scared. I dunno how to answer these questions or should i say, I don’t have answers to those questions. 

If i were to follow my previous insecure self, i’d say i won’t be feeling good with it. But hey, who has concrete answers to their life questions readily available? 

I guess not all the time. But i know of some people who take on that leap of faith and trust God. And they allow God to surprise them.

And for my birthday this year, i don’t wanna demand, expect, or force on my birthday wish list. I wanna ask God to surprise me with a birthday like no other. A birthday that will make me smile and in awe of His great love.

Surprise me God. That is my only wish.

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