i dare to dream! This 2014, i will open my heart to the possibilities. New challenges. Mistakes. Struggles. Bring it On!
Some may believe you and some may not if you declare bigger blessings for this New Year! But I will choose to ignore the noise around me and chooseto listen to the voice of Love coming from my BIG God! I’ve listened to the talk twice but the impact and the power of the message only became louder than the fears and doubts my heart can think of.
Yes 2013 has its share of ups and downs. New challenges.. Level Up in service and Ministry! There were happy and sad moments. Tears of both joy and sorrow were shed. Friendships renewed, bonds strengthened. There were empowered moments but there were downfalls and setbacks.
i took courage to step out of my comfort zone, i said yes to lead a ministry, a caring group, i cried and act in front of 3k plus people, i lead worship in our CG and meetings and even took courage to share my story. I was able to lead and be a witness to a miracle in our 2nd year anniversary in WFA, it was a challenging feat but it was worth all the roller coaster of emotions.God moved God made it happen.
Our ministry grew in number so does the challenges. But God being the source of all these also allowed me to see my weaknesses. I was hurt and I know they were hurt too. I worked double time and reached out and it gave me peace to simply choose to love than to be right. To be excellent not just in your skills and talent but to excel in relationships and love.
They say when it rains, it pours. And this remain true for challenges. My 2013 also comes with challenges in my finances, my work, my family and my personal issues. God used so many circumstances and people to show me what I need to work on and what I have missed out.
As i build my relationships with my ministry, God put my plans of going abroad on hold. Financial difficulties arise and the fear of what will happen started to creep in. But the worst part of it? Not only did I realize that my savings were wiped out but also as my realtionship with my sister and my mom. Suddenly, they talk and i feel left out. But what’s more painful than the realizations that comes with it, I was trying to excel in my service to my God but fell short in keeping His commandments. Love your neighbor as yourself. And i know, my family is my closest neighbor. Instead of focusing on loving them, i focused on running away to stop the pain and to be free from the noise and emotional torture. But then one day, I asked myself? Am I really loving my God with this? Why is it that after rising up and winning the battle against my self worth, the void is still big!
Then it dawned one me…my love tank is running on empty and I refuse to be filled in By God’s love because i didn’t choose to forgive myself and other people. I was stuck in the pit of insecurities disguised as running after mu dreams and finding my one true love. Yes, i thought that was the winning change in my life but then it wasn’t so. More than the words of wisdom, the powerful worship and dance, it’s the commitment to love and to share the love God that should be the priority. Like what mother Teresa said, for love to be true it must hurt. That loving God is to love the poor, and not just the poor in money and food. But the poor lacking in love. This pierced my heart as I reflect on the pains I’ve caused and the tears that comes with it. Yes life and all the setbacks may give us hurts; but we can choose to love and to be happy. Because my God is a happy God! And my God wanted me to loving and to cause unity not division. So despite the pain and doubts battling in m head; I continue to attend and serve.
Hurting I was yes but humbled me to do little things and take baby steps in reaching out to my family. while it is hard i continue to choose to love. The insults all around me will no longer affect, this i continue to declare! I will be a LOVE Ambassador! Will do my best to bring more people including my family to Jesus!
So this new year! I dare to dream! Bigger and brighter for myself and others this 2014!
Will share some of them! Hold on tight and inhale and exhale:
Big dreams for myself:
1. Be healthier. Stay fit – started jogging last week. Sometimes I feel lazy but thank God, my dream to be sexier and prettier wins! :)i also limit fastfood and sodas. Starting small but dreaming Big!
2. Be closer to my family – listens more. I try to shut up when words are not needed. Supports my mom more. I brought her again to the feast. I plan to have weekly dates with mom. To help even when i feel tired. To protect her and her health.
3. To be financially empowered! – increase savings. Look for part time jobs. Look for mentors to help out in financial literacy and investing. To think of getting rich and sharing them to others.
4. To be beautifully empowered and ready for my one true love – while i pray that God give me a husband, i also pray that God prepare me to be a wife. To nourish and protect my relationships so my love tank will always be full and i will stop focusing on my insecurities. I will be sad but i will not move away and be depressed. I am bigger than this. And i deserve to be loved and pursued.
5. Start a life downunder – i am looking for options rather than complain and feel bad on the delays. Rather than blaming I choose to dream even when i don’t see progress! Just like Elijah, I can hear the sound of abundance. It’s there, it’s coming.
6. Be more open to date and get to know people.
7. Level up in worshipping God!
I will continue to write and visualize my dreams.
Big Dreams for others:
1. Vacation and treat for my family. It should not be grand a first but i will open the possibility!
2. To bring back the miracle of having 500-600 attendees in WFA! – i will do little stuff like to level up in worshipping God. Ask help from other servants. I will be a Feast Ambassador.
3. Empower WFA dancemin and the whole worship team! – be more loving, fun and inspiring when I am with them. Laugh and giggle even when things are not going well. Trusting God will interfere when it’s called for. Love love love and more love..love connects!
4. Help our builder and the council in whatever way possible. If i am asked, i will do my best to make it happen.
5. Reach out and go out of my comfort zone.
I can’t write it in one night but i dare to dream and write! God is great and God is LOVE. I know if continue to love, these dreams will come true.
More of this Lord. More of your love this 2014!