Increase the Love in You! By Apple Valencia


It’s the love month and people are really cheesy these days. So if you are single like me, it’s easier to have amnesia on the 14th day of this month. As chocolates and flowers and stuff toys flood almost every corner of your eye, it’s hard to survive that day without being bitter or sad because you don’t have someone special to celebrate the day with. But Pastor Steven Furtick, Lead Pastor of Elevation Church in the US said this to single people on Valentine’s Day: “Happiness is not finding the right person. It’s being the right person. Stop looking for the person of your dreams and start becoming someone another person is dreaming about. Make someone else’s dreams become a reality.”

God is truly sweet, isn’t He? He wanted me to be the best person that He created me to be before He gives me the partner that He has been preparing, the same way He is preparing me. And much to my surprise, God also speaks the same thing in our newest series, “Increase”. As we talked about the 4 laws of wealth, God spoke through the first talk that my self-worth will determine my net worth. Amazing! I didn’t realize that my wealth is affected by how I love and accept myself!

And as Bro. J pointed out, there is no problem with the provider who is God, but with me the receiver. Most of the time, I lack blessings simply because I tend to limit myself with the negative self-talk of not deserving the best blessings God has prepared for me. God’s capacity to give is bigger than my capacity to receive!

Mark Victor Hansen said, “When your self-worth goes up, your net worth goes up with it”. As Bro. J also shared, there are 3 aspects in our self-worth: self ideal or our dream self; self-image or our present self and our self-esteem or how much we like our self. If we hate ourselves, we tend to criticize other people, complain on the kind of life we live and compare ourselves to other people then losing our chance to appreciate what we already have. We need to maintain a high self-ideal and high self-image in order for us to constantly succeed in life. It is when we love and accept ourselves that we will be clear of what we want to become; that is, to be happy and wealthy at the same time.

Our self-worth trumps our net worth because we are more than our ability, our position, or even our social status. We need to celebrate what we have now so we can have a bigger heart to receive more in the future. Let’s be excited because greater things await us.




Lord, Help me to be a good wife. I fully realize that I don’t have what it takes to be one without Your help. Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, and the willingness to bear all things. Take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions, and self-protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with Your battering ram of revelation. Give me a new heart and work in me Your love, peace, and joy (Galatians 5:22, 23). I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment. Only You can transform me.

Show me where there is sin in my heart, especially with regard to my husband. I confess the times I’ve been unloving, critical, angry, resentful, disrespectful, or unforgiving toward him. Help me to put aside any hurt, anger, or disappointment I feel and forgive him the way You do – totally and completely, no looking back. Make me a tool of reconciliation, peace, and healing in this marriage. Enable us to communicate well and rescue us from the threshold of separation where the realities of divorce begin.

Make me my husband’s helpmate, companion, champion, friend, and support. Help me to create a peaceful, restful, safe place for him to come home to. Teach me how to take care of myself and stay attractive to him. Grow me into a creative and confident woman who is rich in mind, soul, and spirit. Make me the kind of woman he can be proud to say is his wife.

I lay all my expectations at Your cross. I release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. Help me to accept him the way he is and not try to change him. I realize that in some ways he may never change, but at the same time, I release him to change in ways I never thought he could. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be. Only You, Lord, are perfect and I look to You to perfect us.

Teach me how to pray for my husband and make my prayers a true language of love. Where love has died, create new love between us. Show me what unconditional love really is and how to communicate it in a way he can clearly perceive. Bring unity between us so that we can be in agreement about everything (Amos 3:3). May the God of patience and comfort grant us to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus (Romans 15:5). Make us a team, not pursuing separate, competitive, or independent lives, but working together, overlooking each other’s faults and weaknesses for the greater good of the marriage. Help us to pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another (Romans 14:19). May we be “perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment” (1 Corinthians 1:10).

I pray that our commitment to You and to one another will grow stronger and more passionate every day. Enable him to be the head of the home as You made him to be, and show me how to support and respect him as he rises to that place of leadership. Help me to understand his dreams and see things from his perspective. Reveal to me what he wants and needs and show me potential problems before they arise Breathe Your life into this marriage.

Make me a new person, Lord. Give me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and a renewed relationship with the man You’ve given me. Help me see him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion, and new acceptance. Give my husband a new wife, and let it be me.