Lord, Help me to be a good wife. I fully realize that I don’t have what it takes to be one without Your help. Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, and the willingness to bear all things. Take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions, and self-protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with Your battering ram of revelation. Give me a new heart and work in me Your love, peace, and joy (Galatians 5:22, 23). I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment. Only You can transform me.

Show me where there is sin in my heart, especially with regard to my husband. I confess the times I’ve been unloving, critical, angry, resentful, disrespectful, or unforgiving toward him. Help me to put aside any hurt, anger, or disappointment I feel and forgive him the way You do – totally and completely, no looking back. Make me a tool of reconciliation, peace, and healing in this marriage. Enable us to communicate well and rescue us from the threshold of separation where the realities of divorce begin.

Make me my husband’s helpmate, companion, champion, friend, and support. Help me to create a peaceful, restful, safe place for him to come home to. Teach me how to take care of myself and stay attractive to him. Grow me into a creative and confident woman who is rich in mind, soul, and spirit. Make me the kind of woman he can be proud to say is his wife.

I lay all my expectations at Your cross. I release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. Help me to accept him the way he is and not try to change him. I realize that in some ways he may never change, but at the same time, I release him to change in ways I never thought he could. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be. Only You, Lord, are perfect and I look to You to perfect us.

Teach me how to pray for my husband and make my prayers a true language of love. Where love has died, create new love between us. Show me what unconditional love really is and how to communicate it in a way he can clearly perceive. Bring unity between us so that we can be in agreement about everything (Amos 3:3). May the God of patience and comfort grant us to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus (Romans 15:5). Make us a team, not pursuing separate, competitive, or independent lives, but working together, overlooking each other’s faults and weaknesses for the greater good of the marriage. Help us to pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another (Romans 14:19). May we be “perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment” (1 Corinthians 1:10).

I pray that our commitment to You and to one another will grow stronger and more passionate every day. Enable him to be the head of the home as You made him to be, and show me how to support and respect him as he rises to that place of leadership. Help me to understand his dreams and see things from his perspective. Reveal to me what he wants and needs and show me potential problems before they arise Breathe Your life into this marriage.

Make me a new person, Lord. Give me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and a renewed relationship with the man You’ve given me. Help me see him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion, and new acceptance. Give my husband a new wife, and let it be me.



My One Big Miracle


“Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.”
– Romans 5:2-4


This is the first talk of our first series this year, JUMP! And as I read this verse, I began to repeat some of the words, “…we rejoice in hope of the glory of God”. As Bro. J has explained, the glory of God is the fulfillment of His plans for you and me. It is the fulfillment of our dreams that He has planted in our hearts.

Then I began asking, “Really? As in seriously, God?” You may be like me, who’s waiting and waiting for years and when you begin to hear these words, you can’t help yourself but ask. But let me redeem myself here; it’s not that I’m doubting God’s plan for me but it’s more of loving to hear it over and over again.

I had a rough week, or should I say I had a rough start of the year! Plans for my studies abroad are still uncertain, funds are not yet available, things aren’t doing well in my family and I have consistently been messing up at work. Last Thursday, I cried as I listen to how frustrated my boss was when she began to see my work suffer accuracy and credibility. I cried so hard that day and began asking God, “Why? What is wrong with me?” Just when I claimed bigger things happening to me this year, here I am all messed up and I can’t find the answers on why I am consistently committing mistakes. As much as I want to remain positive, deep inside I was broken and frustrated.

But God has His ways of really surprising me and giving me what I need, when I needed it. I met my friend Iris that same day and she introduced a promising business to me but I won’t go into those details. As we wait and quickly catch up, she just blurted out this question to me, “Do you want to receive healing NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming) with Jojo Apolo? He is available tomorrow and I can bring you to him if you want.” I prayed that night and ask God if He wanted me to go. And in the silence of my heart, I just knew I needed to go.

Friday night came, and as I walked to the New World Hotel, there were so many questions in my head and to be honest, I was so nervous for an unknown reason. But when I got to meet Jojo Apolo face-to-face, I just knew God is at work. I started telling him all that has been bothering me; the hurts, disappointments, struggles, insecurities and frustrations. He smiled at me and said, “You can be free from all that because God loves you so much.” And he also told me this, “I am 100% sure that it will happen to you. I have been a witness to thousands of people who were healed and I am sure it will happen to you.”

At first I didn’t get what he said; how sure he was and how everything will happen. But as we go through the healing NLP, the voice of God speaking through my heart whispering “I love you” and embracing me lovingly assured my heart that it was happening to me that night. And you know, amidst the noise from different sources in the hotel lobby, I was able to ignore all of them and I just focused on talking to God about a lot of things and how happy I am to be able to experience healing in a different level—in an unexpected and unimaginable way. People I knew were dying to meet Jojo Apolo, and God arranged our schedules to meet that fateful Friday night.

After the healing NLP, he asked Iris how I looked and Iris gave a whole lot of answers but Bro. Jojo affirmed one of the best descriptions that she said. My look wasn’t just peaceful—it was serene. And deep inside, I knew they were right.

I recalled how Bro. Niko Capucion shared about ignoring the noise and the 4 of the many barking dogs that we have in life:

1. People’s opinions – My insecurities and low self-worth became worst because I listened to them. I worry so much on what others think or will feel if I don’t get to meet their expectations. But Bro. Niko reminded us with this: Never try to be anyone you’re not. The only way you can inspire others is by being yourself.

2. Uncontrollable frustrations – I have experienced mid-life crisis oh so often. Many times I grow weary waiting for my one true love, for that handpicked man of God. But do I have control for this? No. So since I can’t force my way to being in a relationship, I have decided to prepare for it. As I pray for my future husband, I also pray that God will prepare me to be a wife. I even started writing love letters for him, and now I have 6 letters!

3. Negative people – You can’t change them but you can change how you deal with them. Love them from a distance.

4. Past failures – One of the things I realized after the NLP is that I have imprisoned myself with this. And as I surrendered everything to God and was freed from my past hurts, I began to feel the joy of expecting God’s blessings.

Our hurts and pains are God’s sweet reminder of asking us to focus on Him. Because when things are falling apart, that is the time when things are falling into place.

We rejoice in our sufferings and HOPE in the Lord! So this year, let’s continue to be hopeful and JUMP for an amazing 2014.

Letter #8 (love letters for my future husband)


Hello there Peach! I had a busy yet super blessed Sunday! And let me share what I have learned today.
Compounding! Big word? Honestly i didn’t know about it before but this word hit me big time. I didn’t know that what your little actions can do in the future if you don’t really discern well.
My favorite preacher said this; it’s not the big things but the little things that you do everyday that makes you a champion. And i’d like to hold on to that, why? Because you see Peach, my goal this year is to level up in my relationships in all the areas of my life.i wanna be more loving and the best approach is to do little things everyday.
One of the things i realized after I have finished the healing NLP is the reality that i tend to withdraw rather than deposit love in almost all my relationships. I mess up and hurt people more often than make them feel my love. But because of that experience of healing and being free, I started to do little things to express my love for my mom and the rest of my family, and yes even to my friends and my community. And i noticed that i tend to be quiet if i am not sure of what to say and whatever i do, whether it works or not; or if i am able to have my way or not; the same joy i have yesterday is still the same joy I have today. Yes, i may mess up but you know Peach? It doesn’t matter anymore, because i have decided to pursue my dreams with much perseverance. Because sometimes things doesn’t look like it’s working but like what this compounding effect teaches us; we just need to keep on keeping on. We persevere but we also practice prudence. To discern if I am fighting the right fight and if it’s right to persevere on the kind of dream i am pursuing at the moment.
I remember i told you in my past letter that i am not really sure why i started writing love letters when you are still nowhere in sight. Now i know, i wanna invest in our relationship now by telling you how excited I am to meet you and fall in love with you for the rest of our lives.
Peach i wanna deposit more love everyday even if i can’t withdraw anything from you just yet. But if compounding is shy now, i know it will rise up higher and greater things will unfold for both of us. Hang in there and do your thing, and i will faithfully pray for you and write all the letters i can write, for one day you will have a chance to read all these every single day that we are together. And Peach, don’t worry if this will reach even a thousand, because you have forever as time to read all of them and those letters i will continue to write.

Letter # 7 (love letters for my future husband)


I can’t sleep Peach! I dunno but for some reasons my brain is still up and awake. And I’ve decided to write you another letter.

I have such fun saturday! Our bunso in the house, my grandson turned 2. Mom cooked pansit and i bought cake and ice cream. I stayed home and helped by washing the dishes. You see I don’t cook Peach but I will do my best to learn to cook some meals haha.

And one thing I noticed after the healing NLP, i feel so at peace and happy. I don’t get disappointed easily. I mean at least for today. One of the obvious proof is staying home and bond with them. I began to ignore the noise and focus on what needs to be done. And i noticed another inspiring thought, when you are with God it doesn’t matter if things around is falling apart. Because that is the time, when things are falling into place. It gave me real joy to laugh and chat with my family even in the simple celebration we have at home. One funny mistake though was when i posted something on facebook and just put simple birthday celebration and people started greeting. Misleading post haha. But i ended up deleting to avoid further confusion.

Then later around 4pm, i attended my first ever zumba class. I was the youngest there, can you believe that Peach? Haha, because most of them are onntheir mid 40s and some 50s hihi. Cute but i gave my best for that one hour class. Not because of the fact that i paid for it but because i wanted to achieve the goal of being healthier and happier this year. Oh i am already happier, that’s why i need to be consistent on loosing weight and dropping 2 dress sizes because i want to be prettier and sexier for my Peach to see and be mesmerized with one day. Oh okay, so i am too confident here haha. But all I’m saying is, waiting for you will be spent productively. I will wait with joy and anticipation. I will wait by preparing myself to be your wife, one that God, my family, community, friends and you Peach deserves. I wanted to invite you to join in my journey because you will complement my life and not complete it.

I will be working harder to achieve my dreams as you work harder to achieve yours. I will level up in everything I do as you continue to be successful in whatever you. I will always choose to smile and love as i wait for you who I know who’s main priority is to love God, His family, his friends and community and who is so excited to one day find me.

I love you this early Peach because I know God has chosen you to join me in my journey. I know you are a man who will lead me to God and not to sin; whose,love and inspiration comes from his deep and intimate relationship with God. You are my greatest gift and my one big miracle Peach! And i can’t wait to see you, hug you and kiss you. Till then, I will joyfully, actively, beautifully and lovingly wait for you.

Letter #6 (love letters for my future husband)


I’m back! Hey there Peach! My start of the year fasting ended today! But more that the sacrifice of eating bread and water for 5 days, it’s me letting go of my deepest pains that made me so happy today.

I underwent a Healing NLP earlier, and I was so amazed with the results after. Not only that I feel so happy and at peace, I look like it. It’s an unforgettable experience and i know it was a gift from God. Jojo Apollo is well known for doing this and many people are really dying to meet him and have a session just like what I did. It was unplanned but it was the best interruption from God.

I love it Peach, because i saw and heard you there. I genuinely felt the excitement of exchanging vows with you, felt excited to walk down the isle radiantly smiling as I am looking at you from a distance. As i walk, i can’t help but cry because of extreme joy for that one big miracle unfolding right before my eyes. I can even feel the ring you put on my finger.

People may find it crazy but I really saw us getting married Peach! It was so real and with that, waiting for you became even more exciting. I was telling God as I talk to Him earlier, that I didn’t realize talking to Him can be so much fun and spontaneous. I told Him how happy I feel now waiting for you my Peach. Why? Because I know you are really coming and i know that when we’re finally together, life will be even more exciting, surprising and simply unimaginable.

As I set my hurts, disappointments and insecurities free; I felt so refreshed and recharged. God sweetly reminded me how much He loves me and how bright the future that He has prepared for me. I am beautiful and I’m the Apple of His eyes. How sweet is that Peach? But can you whisper that to my ear everyday? When we finally get to spend our life together and build our Christ centered family.

I also saw myself differently knowing how God looks at me with joy and love. It felt like being a little girl again in God’s presence. It felt like hugging my closest friend and letting this friend know, how much I needed this and I am so grateful that God made it happen. Nothing just happens! I was at the right place and the right time. I am God’s precious one and He is preparing me to be the woman that you deserve Peach. And just like He is preparing you, i feel i have to do my part and I am happy to be a part of God’s grand master plan for our lives Peach.

And knowing Jojo personally made me recall all the talks I heard and his big message to me is this: nothing happens by accident and that really God loves you so much. I know this already but i love hearing it. And soon, I want to start my day by hearing you say I Love You. I want to hug you at least 3 times a day and I want continuously dream with you. We will have weekly dates and quality time; we will travel to our dream destinations and as for me it’s in Seoul, Korea. What about you Peach? But wherever it is, we will go there.

I can’t help but be excited! Who shouldn’t be? When you have a God who never fails to remind you of His great love and promises you the best future. Until then i will joyfully wait for you Peach. I will work harder every day to be the best version of a wife I can ever be! I love you and i thank you this early, for being the version of a husband you can ever be. See you soon Peach!

Love Letter #5 (love letters for my future husband)

“I have an advantage. God is in control of my destiny. He’s fighting my battles for me. He is my vindicator. And it’s just a matter of time before things change in my favor.”
This message blessed me big time Peach! You know I really feel a bit disappointed with myself lately, but just like the message i just read God is telling He will turn things on my favor. I just have to trust Him that He knows what He is doing and that my miracles are on its way.

Thank you Peach, imagining your smile keeps me going. Being able to open up and tell you how i feel is kind of a therapy that sets my heart at ease. I dream of doing this with you before I sleep. Cuddling with you while we exchange stories about what happened to our day and what we intend to do on our regular date night.

You see Peach, one of my favorite preacher wasn’t with us tonight but his message again and again reminds me to be hopeful and to rejoice because God has the best plans for me this year. He shared that when things fall apart, that is when things will fall into place. And i choose to believe that because I know you will get to read all my letters someday and you will share your own stories too.

Things seems like to fall apart at work, but I am working my way to start a career in Perth soon. And I will continue to trust God that while i am messing up at work, He will surprise with a future that I can’t imagine or understand. A future with you, my one big miracle. i am so excited for you my Peach. May you be surrounded by god’s scandalous grace and favor wherever you are. I love you.

This blog is all about unspoken thoughts and dreams…..